Grudgingly Faithful


My son was in college recently and a fellow student walked up to him and introduced himself. His name was Benjamin. My son did not recognize him at first. He mentioned that he lived near the church we used to be involved in. He attended the Friday night youth activities He was wondering if we were still doing them (no we are not). He really enjoyed them and was happy that we had committed to doing them.

I remember Benjamin even though that was over 7 years ago, and I led the youth activities for only a few months.

In 2007, Celia and I joined a churchplanting activity. We are not churchplanters generally. In Baguio City, one can hardly throw a rock up in the air without it landing on a church. But we had finished our field education at seminary for one church and we felt it time to go elsewhere. When an opportunity came up to join a new churchplant, we were excited. As a pioneer in the new church we got more involved in church activities than we had before. Our main ministry was mostly parachurch, at the time working on organizing medical mission events, and a local children’s ministry.

At this new church we were on the board of elders (we had a very relaxed governance). I was on the praise team (playing saxophone) and was a Sunday School teacher, and part of the preaching rotation.

All of this was fine, but the church needed someone to lead the Youth. I was asked.  I don’t like youth!! Teenagers annoy me. I like to say that I was never a teenager (not true, I suppose, but I never felt like a teenager).

Despite the stress of organizing and running medical missions, overseeing Kids Club activities, some cooperative work, leading Bible studies, preaching, and being a student in a doctoral program… the most emotionally tiring activity for me was the youth events. I did it for several months, but eventually the time came that I stepped out of it (I can ‘t remember the argument I used).

It is strange that Benjamin was not the first who had talked about the impact of those youth nights. I have had others also talk about it as important in their growth.

SOOOO… what does this ultimately mean?  To me it means this:

1.  We are designed by God to serve in certain ways and on certain things. God has given us giftings, talents, temperaments, passions and skills. Understanding these helps us know what we are supposed to do to serve.

2.  But God also gives us circumstances, opportunities, social connections, spheres of influence as well. Sometimes these are not in line with the things listed in #1. That does not mean we automatically say “NO.”

Sometimes we need to be available, even if grudgingly faithful, when God needs us. God used Jonah, a very grudging servant. Jesus called His disciples and pushed them to their limits and beyond with regards to their comfort zones as well.

God can use us in these grudgingly faithful moments. God can still change others through us. And God can also change us.

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3 thoughts on “Grudgingly Faithful

  1. Availability isn’t the problem. It’s your heart that needs changing. If you couldn’t take care of the youth, it only means you are a father of short temper and patience. You are fast on giving up on the youth, when what young people need is someone to listen to them, notice them, praise them, guide them, show them true love and let them understand what you are trying to tell them using kind words after getting to know them. Wise words are useless if understanding and love isn’t a part of it. Your devotion to them shows your love and that you actually care for them. You don’t see that your own selfish goals of letting them understand your teachings will never work because of your impatience and your hatred towards them; and that is already a huge flaw in your job as a teacher. Do you actually care about your students or are you just insecure about your inability to become a flawless professor? 🙂 Stop focusing on the darkness in people because only the light can leave a mark in people’s eyes. It’s up to you if you will help it grow, or leave it be and ignore it like most adults in this generation that let the youth be darkened by the man made lights that cast a shadow. People reflect each other, if what you hear from them is noise and only noise, then, so is what they hear from you.

    • Thanks for your thoughts. Not sure how accurate your assessment is, but certainly something to think about. I would argue that a bit of honest self-assessment in Christian ministry is a good thing. It can and should be encouraged.

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