I am writing this as a teacher of missions, not as an evangelist. In fact, I do evangelism very rarely. If that makes me unreliable to you, no worries. I will just give the TL;DR. I do believe that their are settings where asking permission is absolutely critical. There are other settings where it is not.

I was reading parts of “T4T A Discipleship ReRevolution” by Steve Smith and Ying Kai. I have read the book before, but I was rereading parts of it for a book that I am working on. In there, one of the authors tells of his experience serving as a hospital chaplain. He described how he went from room to room, ward to ward. He would ask if each patient would like to hear the gospel message. He said that 14 out of 15 would say “No” in some form or another. After a while, however, he concluded that he should not ask permission, since what he has to say is important and good for everyone. I am not sure that seeming to violate the Golden Rule should be quite so easy to justify, but I will set this aside.

<The writer uses a strange illustration at this point. It is not critical, but it is curious. He uses a story of a food stall where the owner would ask whether people would want one egg or two in their soy milk. Since an egg was not a requirement, it was an add-on and raised the cost considerably, by asking one egg or two, the customer often feels constrained to say something like “Only one please.” For me, as one who is frugal by upbringing, and at times in my life due to financial necessity, the story really bothers me. To me I would feel very manipulated. Perhaps some would not. I am not sure how one using a marketing trick that potentially injures customers (financially) for the gain of another should be seen as a positive example for sharing the gospel. Maybe I am personalizing the story too much.>

I do have deep problems with his story as a chaplain. My wife and I oversee a chaplain training program in the Philippines. We maintain a “Do Not Proselytize” standard for our program. That does not mean that one cannot ever evangelize. If asked about one’s faith or church or beliefs, one can freely respond. And, as chaplain trainees, that does often happen, especially if one is open with the patients. We give 6 major reasons why we don’t proselytize, other than this exception, in our program:

• Many places where we do chaplaincy training do not allow proselytization. In fact, our major mission site had for years blocked all non-family visitors to the wards because of so many churches sending people there to evangelize.
• Our chaplaincy training certifier says that their members are not to “Proselytize or impose their particular theology on those they minister to and within a professional pastoral care capacity.” This is not a charge never to proselytize, but rather establishing boundaries of where it is acceptable and where it is not.
• We are seeking to train individuals to serve as chaplains worldwide, and a majority of chaplain positions globally do not permit proselytizing.
• There is a significant power dynamic issue here. It is unethical to share a gospel presentation with someone who is trapped there in a hospital bed because of physical ailment. (If you are uncertain of this, picture yourself stuck in a hospital bed and a Jehovah’s Witness or a Muslim comes to your bed, gives their presentation on why you should join their religion, and you can’t get them to go away.) Essentially, the person is trapped, and you have power over them.
• During times of great stress (such as after a disaster, or before a major operation), it is well understood this is a bad time for a religious conversion (although, to be fair, many disagree with this). First, decisions for Christ made under high stress are rarely real. Under high stress, people’s minds are mixed up and can’t make serious major decisions. Second, even if the person is able to think clearly under this stress, most decisions will not be serious. They tend to make choices based on “If this helps… great. If not, no harm done.” For example, suppose someone has a debilitating illness and another comes up to them and offers a good luck charm or perhaps some pill. The person commonly will try based on hope, not faith.
• Since we are a training program, we are trying to get ministers to be more skilled at active listening and dialogue. Since most evangelististic schemes are about a lot of talking and little listening, that can often undermine the skills that we seek to instill. (Frankly, many evangelists would do well in focusing on listening early and often.)

Does this mean that I think one must always get permission? Absolutely not. Chaplaincy is an example due to professional limitations, as well as the problem of power dynamics. Pressuring a person to listen to a gospel presentation because you are their boss (the one who pays them money to feed their family), is another example of an inappropriate power dynamic.

But consider where a power dynamic does not exist (like friends or neighbors or coworkers), I don’t think power dynamic is a problem. I do think that the Golden Rule does still apply a bit. I am not saying that the Golden Rule does not imply that one doesn’t evangelize— far from it. But obvious manipulation is a problem. When a person realizes that they were not important to the evangelizer, where the conversation was done just to drag them into a gospel presentation, that can be problematic. Again, that does not mean that one cannot look for opportunities. Still, when a person feels manipulated, they are likely to be turned off by the conversation.

Consider the following:

John: “Oh man. I spilled red wine on my shirt. It’s ruined.”

Ben: “Don’t worry. I know what gets rid of every stain.”

John: “What’s that?”

Ben: “The blood of Christ!”

It’s a joke conversation, but would John feel manipulated? Absolutely. Would he think it was clever and intriguing? Almost certainly Not. Clearly, manipulating others and entering conversations under pretenses I do believe violates the Golden Rule. But sharing what is important to you with friends, family, neighbors, and coworkers, is not manipulative.